Sorry, but the show will not go on.

I just realized I can not go on and write the second part of the last blog. I just can't , it has nothing to do with the pain, because I can deal with the pain and emotions. Rather it is something else. I don't want to keep going back and living in fear that they will take my dad away. I need to live for now and not the past. I can't keep thinking awful things and mostly I need to just live for my family. And mostly and selfishly for me. If I can't live for myself, how could I possibly live for anyone else?