My friend.

I wrote this about a friend back in 2005.


I wont go back. Back to the way I was when suicide was my every thought. When I hated to live and hated the thought of living on until it all ate me up. I tried so many times to end it but something held me back. So many days were consumed with ways to get out. Contemplating so much, crying until my eyes turned blood shot red. I refuse to go back in to that empty place. Where suicide was my only fate. Where the only choices were a shot to the head , a slice to the wrist , a noose for my neck , and the dreaded kiss of death. So I made the thoughts drown away with the happiness of others. I tried so hard to ignore the pain and make all my anger go away. I threw it all up and rid my heart of suicidal thoughts I sucked all the posionoius tar from my already dead veins . I threw away the pills and razors that once relived the pain. I cried the last of deadly tears and walked away from the last of my pains. Now im better living life a day at a time because I refuse to go back to that day to that time. When my only friend was suicide.