Whenever I think of this moment. Riding the bus home. Hearing some bigot man degrading a gay couple at the back of the bus. I suppose they disgusted him so much he just had to move. He made his way to the front and sat by me. I felt dirty to even be close to him and I remember getting up and walking to his empty sit in the back. Where I sincerely felt safer sitting next to the couple. The bus was full and not one person said anything, including me, to the man. I was a little scared of him, he looked crazy. But I did tell the couple something. I apologized for his behavior and told them how they do not deserve that kind of shit. I just wish I was not the only one. I remember crying when I found out Prop Hate was passed. My friend (straight) who was with me, told me why the hell was I crying. His words to me where " Who gives a fuck, at least you can marry" and I told him " Yeah but my best friend can't". I thought of my best friend O, not being able to at least have the option of marriage if he wanted to. I vowed that I would not get married until EVERYONE could. I still feel a little shame since I will be getting married, who knows how long California will take. Is my heart so naive ? Naive that I believe love is everything and it should not matter who you love. I guess so. But I'll run with it. During the whole Pro 8 debate before the election, I seriously lost friends because of it. A girl who I adored and enjoyed spending our lunch breaks with at work, stopped talking to me when I said I was against P8. When I try to argue that her best friend is homosexual, and why should she be married and not him. She said it's not natural. Love is not natural? I think its the most natural thing in the world.
I don't know, I am just ranting right now. It's late, Dylan and Stephen are asleep. I have too many thoughts in my head.
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Okay, so I’m not sure what happened – google told me this was too big to post – then it posted 4 times. Then I thought I removed three of the comments and then all four were missing – so I’m trying again. Sorry for the technical difficulties.
I took a Counseling course (which focused on power and privilege) last semester at Sac State and some of the main things I learned in the class was first, to live your life in a conscious manner - always being aware of how your actions and words affect others around you and another main point was that while we should attempt to change the hearts and minds of others - that not everyone has the capacity to change and that we should choose our battles wisely otherwise we will be dying on every hill. Your story on the bus kind of made me think about these things. The disgusting man who degraded the gay couple most likely did not have the capacity to change his views - and most likely nothing you could have said to him would have improved the situation. However, the fact that you sat by the couple and offered them your thoughts and apologies shows that you're a caring person who is living her life in a conscious way - and I'm sure that the couple appreciated what you said and it probably helped them to feel a little bit less alone. I totally agree with you about the whole Prop 8 thing. I'm disgusted by the fact that it passed, and I can only hope that the courts will continue to make the correct decisions in reversing it. I was just talking to a friend of mine about this issue yesterday. She is a lesbian - living with her gf in NYC - currently with no hope of being able to marry because New York passed similar hateful laws. What I told her was that throughout United States history the majority has for some reason found it necessary to pass hateful and discriminatory laws and the courts have almost always been responsible for correcting these laws - and at this point - this is all that gives me hope. Also, always vote. Every vote counts. We need more people like us out there voting for change.
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